You think vegans ironically get hungry?

-Nimdok


Start a round Earth conspiracy in MineCraft

-Nimdok


Every non-fiction book is a sequel to the Bible in Christians minds

-Nimdok


I really like shotgunning beer, I'm just not a big fan of all the glass

-Nimdok


Barber: "Sorry our shop burned down, but there's a cancer treatment center over there."

-Nimdok


Sarah and Joey sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I!

-Nimdok


A Jack of all trades could never be into BDSM, he'd be the master of none

-Nimdok


People get bullied for writing their names on their underwear, but look at Calvin Klein

-Nimdok


In German they say prost instead of cheers. Short for prostate

-Nimdok


I hate when people say "Can you imagine?". I have a really fucking good imagination, of course I can.

-Nimdok


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