"This class is bullshit, my professor is going on about Jesus and shit, and he passed around a tithing plate."

-Nimdok


You think European firefighters put out fires with mineral water?

-Nimdok


"The fauxm-over" - dye your hair black on the sides and blonde on the top.

-Armin


Hipster bars should server alcohol in brown paper bags

-Nimdok


"Attention shoppers. We regret to inform you that there is an active shooter in the store."

-Nimdok


"Ah, there's nothing quite like riding a bike," says the amnesiac.

-Armin


Mike Brown pulls out a pair of glasses and puts them on "You wouldn't shoot a guy with glasses would ya?"

-Nimdok


Put a just married sign on the back of your Uber.

-Nimdok


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